Ziggy's Time Traveler Emergency Reference
This app is the answer to what if Im accidentally hurled backwards in time? This is not some gimmicky Wikipedia client, its a bunch of concentrated historical data thats stored on your phone and designed to make figuring out what to do next easy if youre traveling through time.
Theres so many things to remember, wouldnt it be nice if someone wrote a pocket database with a bunch of useful guides and sports scores that automatically updated and could live in your pocket without needing the futures Internet/cell coverage? Hey, there totally is! And its this!
Accidental time travel! Who knows if it happens? How many missing persons have actually been thrown backwards in time and/or spun off into a new timeline? We dont know! Lets say paintings of Leonardo Da Vinci looks suspiciously like my missing savant artist/inventor friend Lenny. Coincidence? Or temporal whodunit?
If something like this were to happen to YOU, wouldnt you rather be prepared? Would your knowledge of how to use word processors and drive cars be enough to survive and get rich in, say, the 1880s? 1940s? England of the 1600s? Wouldnt it be nice to have a pocket database designed SPECIFICALLY for time travelers? If so, then YOU need Ziggy!
If the movies and books have taught us anything, its that we could be just one tiny quantum leap away from being unstuck in time without Internet access so the data lives ON your device without taking up very much space (<20 megabytes, equivalent to maybe 3 or 4 non-Led Zeppelin pop songs).
Ziggys Emergency Time Traveler Reference is just what you need for this (possibly unlikely, but probably not impossible) contingency.
With a historical database with over 127,000 significant events, births, eclipses, and notable deaths spanning the centuries, this program will give you the edge you need to profit in the past using future knowledge. Not worried about time paradoxes? Great! Now you can step in and save a bunch of kids from an exploding restaurant or something, who knows? Ziggy can give you an in-depth Today in History or, if you know the date youre stuck, a temporal weather report about the near future. "Watch out, Mr. Lincoln, maybe youd better stay in tonight!"
It also has a bunch of useful documentation to help you profit. Every major stock-market crash is listed. Super Bowl Champions, Kentucky Derby winners, soccer/football world champions, basketball results, everything youll need to fund a life of luxury within the limitations of the age. Want to adjust the limitations of the age? Use the included technical concepts documentation to bootstrap the type of civilization YOU want.
Additionally, it has a comprehensive First Aid book that will, in any age before the 1900s, make you the preeminent medical authority on keeping people alive. It might not hurt to have if you get bitten by a dinosaur or something, either, just try to keep your blood off the screen.
Problem: You need to build a telegraph machine or a charger for your phone without the benefit of modern technology. Oh boy! Good news, Ziggy has some reference materials which, applied properly, might just give you the tips you need to start making volts. Eventually, youll need to figure out transistors (the app has some documents on that too), and so on. Consider kidnapp- er, befriending some historical genius and putting them to work in your evil labor-, uh, Imaginarium. Yes, thats it, Imaginarium. The rest is up to you!
With Ziggy at your side, youre the one-eyed man in the kingdom of the blind because your future knowledge will make you a king. Download it now, before I metaphor again!